Do you still have your period?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize