I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
