But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The beer is more important than you right now.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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