I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
