She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
