ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
