Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
