My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize