Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
