Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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