Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
