I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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