I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The best revenge is premature balding
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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