i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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