I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize