Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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