I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
