i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize