Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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