when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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