Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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