Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
