Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
