All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
