So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
