Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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