Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
