no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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