You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
