I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize