I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
