OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
A+ Viking dick
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