i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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