Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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