Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
