Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
