So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
