where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
