making cat noises will not fix the situation.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
