school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
