Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
