He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize