either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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