How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
