I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
