ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
