her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
