Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
