I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
