How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
