the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Someone signed my nipple.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize