margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
