i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
