You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
