Pappa wants mamma naked
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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