There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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