you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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