redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
