if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
