That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Screwed.edu
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
