I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
