well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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